Study: 87 Percent Of Movies Would Be Better With Michael Keaton In Them

Experts say adding even a few seconds of Michael Keaton would substantially improve most films.

LOS ANGELES—According to a comprehensive study released this week by researchers at UCLA, 87 percent of feature-length motion pictures would be significantly improved by the addition of 59-year-old film and television actor Michael Keaton.

Profile of an Ass Kicker: Jack Burton

Name: Jack Burton
Movie: Big Trouble In Little China
Age: Timeless
Job:
Haulin Ass with Pork Chop Express
Decent:
Californian
Motivation:
Just wants his Truck back
Wants To Bang: Gracie Law
Equipment: Boot Knife + Tec 9 Machine Gun
No. 1 Attribute: Reflexes

Jack Burton Facts: